Travel and the Secret to Staying Young (from an 80 Year Old)

“There’s a lot of people going up and down that escalator,” remarked the elderly bald man next to me on the seat outside the supermarket. “The same guy with a drink has been going around and around numerous times. He’s gone now. Maybe he finished his drink?”

The man was making conversation with me and it forced me to take notice of him.

I’d sat down next to him about five minutes earlier, while waiting for my parents, but barely gave him a second glance.

Now that I’d acknowledged and responded to him, he seemed eager to keep talking.

“Are you from around here?”

“No, I’m on holiday with my parents,” I replied, hoping to draw the conversation to a close before I had to share too much about myself.

Unfortunately, since settling into an unconventional life in India, I’ve developed a strange kind of anxiety over answering people’s questions. Part of it stems from the intrusive questions, leading to judgement, that people are prone to asking in India. However, more so, it’s because I simply want to feel “normal”. This is particularly the case when I’m back in Australia. It an opportunity for me to just blend in and be like every one else for a while. Except, in reality, I’m not.

“Do you work?” the man’s questions resumed. Clearly, I wasn’t going to get out of it this time.

“I write about India travel and live in India,” I confessed to him.

“Where in India?”

“Mumbai.”

And, with that, the man launched into a fascinating account of his travels through India. It turned out he was an architect and he’d been there on a luxury architectural tour. He didn’t mention much about the luxury part of it though. Rather, he regaled me with stories of what happened to him when he left the tour group and went exploring on his own (often despite being warned not to).

While he was talking, my dad came out of the supermarket and purposefully walked past us in an odd way, to be funny.

“My father,” I commented to the man and rolled my eyes.

“That’s something I would do,” he replied to me and laughed.

By now, the man really had my attention and appreciation. Not only was he adventurous, he had a wicked sense of humour and wasn’t afraid to be silly.

It wasn’t long before the man’s wife finished her shopping and joined us. She was quick to take over the conversation about their escapades in India.

“One day, we wanted to experience local life, so we left the tour group again. We were driving around aimlessly and stopped by a house to admire its architecture. The owner came out and invited us inside to chat. He spent hours explaining about the house. It was the best day of the tour!” she exclaimed.

It was becoming obvious that the couple both liked to talk. However, their stories were so lively and meaningful that it was impossible not to get absorbed in them.

“Decades ago, we were in New York where there had been a shooting,” the wife continued. “The streets were sealed off and it was unsafe, so we couldn’t take a taxi back to our hotel. We had to go by the Subway. It was nighttime and even that was dangerous. We had no idea which train to take or even where to get off. We obviously looked lost and frightened. And, do you know, it was the scariest looking vagrants who came forward to help us all the way. What’s more, we later realised, they were all black!”

I was amazed but not really surprised. “It goes to show that you really can’t judge people based on how they look or how you expect them to be.” I was thinking of my current situation as well. What I expected to be a mundane conversation with a lonely elderly gentleman had turned into the opposite — it was engaging and educational.

“Yes,” the wife agreed. “We were in an Arab country once and I saw Muslim women completely covered, including over their mouth. I decided to go and ask them about it and why they do it. It resulted in a really insightful discussion about Islam. One of the women even gave me her phone number and told me to call if I had any more questions.”

I admired her for doing that. “If only people traveled more, and made an effort to understand and experience other cultures, there would be so much less hate and ignorance in the world,” I sighed.

“I know what you mean. We looked at going into a retirement home but decided not to because the people there are old! Mind you, we’re nearing our 80s.” That sealed it, I loved their outlook on life. “We met the residents of one place. They were sitting lifelessly around the table and didn’t have anything to say. So, we’ve been taking cruises. We’ve met all kinds of people on them. Some have explored the world, and have interesting experiences and learnings to share. Others are completely naive and not well-traveled. We were getting off the boat at one destination but some people said it was boring and there was nothing to see.”

“Those people are probably boring themselves. There’s always something of interest if you’re open to it,” I suggested.

“That’s the key to remaining young. Stay interested in things and explore,” the man advised. “We missed out on two chances to attend an Indian wedding. But it’s okay because we’ve done so much with our lives and had some crazy adventures.” They looked at each other and smiled.

I was shocked to find that nearly two hours had passed. No doubt, what they’d told me was only the tip of the iceberg. Yet, I was so inspired. It made me feel very grateful for my unconventional life. It was a much needed reminder that I shouldn’t close myself off from it, despite wanting to at times. It has brought me wonderful friends from all around the world. It has given me extraordinary experiences and opened my mind so much.

Ironically, I got way more from the conversation than I gave.